I grew up spending very little time in video arcades, but playing all the hot games of the day at home on a parade of Atari computers. One of the different things about that experience was being able to restart at will. Tried something risky on your first life and failed? Hit START and start over. It's an advantage in playing for high scores. It's a disadvantage in learning how to take an effort seriously up front. Life doesn't let you get away with hitting the START button too many times. But maybe once is OK.

When I started writing down my progress, I promised that I'd log my setbacks. I knew they'd come. I haven't made a lot of entries recently, so here we go.

Had a pretty significant setback recently, culminating in a frenzy of numerous bad things eaten yesterday. I eventually decided to make an attempt to get it over with at once, and ate ... well, rather a lot of sweets. Some of them probably shouldn't have been in the house at all, but some I had bought recently specifically to have semi-acceptable options as an alternative to going completely in the wrong direction. Nothing semi-acceptable about the quantity I went through — enough that it would have been a standout day in past years, although not a record setter. I ended up at 198.0 this morning.

This was after a month-long plateau, subsequent to a promising start to the OWL phase of Atkins. I had been hanging around the 193 mark in general, but not getting anywhere. It looked like I could not eat anything more than I did in Induction and be able to maintain, or at least continue losing, weight. I can handle a restrictive diet if I have numerical progress. I think I can handle a lack of progress if I have an interesting diet. But I stopped so early, I couldn't take it.

So, that's all in the past and I'm hitting the START button on 16 March at 198.0.

• Primary goal: live by induction rules through 31 March.
• Primary goal: be at/below the 8 March measurements in waist and thigh on 5 April.
• Secondary goal: be at/below 193.0 on 31 March.

There might not be an update on this before April. We'll see. In more positive news, I'm consistently doing rung 19 of the Hacker's Diet exercise ladder. Pushups are the holdup from going further.

I got measurements last Thursday. Bottom line, not far off the January numbers. I didn't do any in February. [Updated Monday 3/19 to add the actual data:]

• Neck: 17"
• Chest: 39½"
• Bicep: 12½"
• Stomach: 36¾"
• Waist: 36¼"
• Hips: 38½"
• Thigh: 17-23"

(Image cropped from Digibarn Atari 400 page under CC BY-NC 3.0 terms.)

193.4 after two weeks on the two-salad plan. It's actually been difficult to get up to 25g per day without adding any other kind of food. So I cheated more ... but it's less cheating now, just skipping slightly ahead within a phase.

What's next ... fresh cheese? Not something I'm interested in, but I guess I'll try a little.

(I have Harry Potter 6 to watch before my DVR goes back ...)

194.4 this morning. That's two straight under my 195 intermediate goal, and I've been doing minor cheating^* more and more, so it's time to move past induction! Ongoing Weight Loss starts out easy enough: eat a salad with lunch in addition to with dinner, or have vegetables served with dinner in addition to and not instead of the salad. Then it gets harder, as I have to return to actually counting the carbs instead of knowing that I have a budget of 6 per meal for lunch and dinner.  (Plus 4 for breakfast and 4 for the salad/veg. = 20)

^* things like a single piece of dried fruit for desert, not like the hypothetical pizza that @dragonjaze thought she smelled when she walked in last night

Will probably drop to two weight updates a month after next week.

I'll be glad when the cookies are gone from the kitchen counter so I can stop cheating with them. Also the almonds in the pantry and the G2 in the fridge. Both of those started while I was sick. Not much of an excuse for the cookies except I'm tired of passing out from hypoglycemia and exhaustion every afternoon.

Still down to 194.6 this morning.

The current number is 196.6, but I'm not sure what it means. I was sick last week, and actually lost 11 pounds over 24 hours Thursday-Friday. While I returned to solid food Saturday I'm still not completely back to normal and have been regaining that lost weight. I don't know exactly where I stand at the moment.

I have been off diet since then while trying to eat enough fiber to reset myself.

Preparing to finally work my shovelling muscles ...

• Neck: 17"
• Chest: 40"
• Bicep: 13½"
• Stomach: 37½"
• Waist: 36"
• Hips: 39"
• Thigh: 18-23"
• Weight: 197.6#

And apparently acting on it, at 201.2. We'll see how the next week goes.

Did not realize Jimmy John's had a pre-defined lettuce wrap option for my favorite sandwich. From their nutrition page, click the low carb header at the bottom of the left column, and click "The J.J. Gargantuan® Unwich". 6 net carbs, and that's rounding up. Now I have to go see if it's that simple to order at the local shop. Not today, but soon.

Odd: the location I'd normally go to (Randall, south of US 20) has a $25 minimum for pickup orders off the web, but one almost equally close (Randall, north of I-90) has a $3 minimum. If I have trouble communicating the order in person at the one spot I guess I can order online for the other. While not really further from home it's not so convenient in that none of my usual other stops are up there. On the south end of Randall in Elgin and South Elgin I can roll a nice itinerary of groceries, pet food, etc.

I was bad Sunday, so it's a little unexpected that I still got down to 199.0 this morning. Had a good dinner and multiple [bites of] good desserts with @dragonjaze's family. Expected FAQ on weight loss: "how?" Unexpected FAQ: "why?"

Also, it's funny what you learn when you lose 50 pounds, like how much of your friends' self-esteem was invested in weighing 40-50 pounds less than you. (Not as much as they tease, but more than they thought.)

Quite a few numbers off by one inch from four weeks ago:

• Neck: 17"
• Chest: 41½"
• Bicep: 13¾"
• Stomach: 37¾"
• Waist: 36¼"
• Hips: 39½"
• Thigh: 16¾ -24"
• Weight: 201.0#

Looks like I can finally invest in 36W29L pants. 38 was a little loose the last time I wore one of them. Still need the relaxed fit in the thigh.

201.6 this morning. Last night my sternum was a topic of conversation. Not sure how I can make my bones any more attractive.

Just in time for the six-month mark, a day of starvation in the city got me down to 204.4 for this morning.  First reading under 205, which moves November's progress from "practically zero" to "fluke 1%".

Next time I get to decide how to break a diet, I want to ask for just one moderate slice ... of cherpumple.

I had nothing that great last night, but I did have apple strudel. Oddly, no effect on blood sugar this morning, but tonight's was high despite eating normally all day. I had small amounts of dressing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole (with fried onions), and brocolli with dinner. Also one cracker underneath cheese, and one baby carrot. Most of those things tasted how I remembered them, and weren't anything special that I feel like I'm missing. The cracker was at the bottom of the desirability list: the only purpose is to avoid touching other foods as much. The carrot was near the top: avoiding raw vegetables forever isn't good, just a special-purpose phase I'm going through.

But the desert ... I do miss having some at the end of the day. Yet I felt the effect immediately in the morning: I was hungry like I generally haven't been recently. It's something that passes quickly, but right after getting up, in addition to sending me into the bathroom, my body would tell me that my blood sugar was much lower now than it was when I went to bed, and is this a cause for action, sir? My standard breakfast still worked.

Interesting revelations, all in all. I don't miss most carbs, I'm just annoyed by the lack of convenient food that meets strict low-carb requirements. I miss vegetables, but I think I knew that. I really miss sweet deserts, which I didn't really suspect. And the sum total of whatever I ate had an effect on my blood sugar for at least 24 hours.

206.8 this morning. Up a pound since last week, which would not be a good note on which to transition out of Atkins Induction into OWL .... Overall I'm not concerned, but I am indecisive about whether it's time to move forward or not. After almost six months I'm ready to start introducing more food, but the weight loss is also slow enough that I don't particularly want to slow it down any more. Not sure what I'll do this weekend.

Short term, Thanksgiving is with my mother, and I plan to have a bit of everything. So that's a day off if nothing else, which may just negate any other November progress. I realistically plan the same for Xmas and not having any net progress at the end of December. But no pizza party until I make 195, whenever that is.

After missing a week with server downtime, the weekly ritual is back. And it's monthly tape measure time again. Mesaurements were done last night, just not until right before bed, so I'm posting now:

• Neck: 17½"
• Chest: 41½"
• Bicep: 12½"
• Stomach: 39"
• Waist: 37¼"
• Hips: 40½"
• Thigh: 17¾ -24"
• Weight: 205.6#

Several had no change from October. The lack of change, actually a quarter inch gain, in the waist bothers me most. I'm getting to the point where I need to know whether to buy size 36 or 38 pants.

208.8 this^* morning: no change. Got some info Friday on how 12-hour fasting glucose numbers are interpreted. 126 = diabetes. 100+ = pre-diabetes. She told me to be concerned around 110. Right now they're averaging below 90, but that's easy on a highly restricted diet.

^* This was written 11/2 even though I forgot to publish it until 11/4.

208.8 this morning. Getting ready to head to the physician (is that applicable to a CNP?) Friday. Also, having discovered a few weeks ago that I can physically do a sit-up, on rung 2 of the Hacker's Diet exercise ladder.

(No deep meaning; I just hate doing post titles most of the time.)

• Neck: 17½"
• Chest: 41½"
• Bicep: 13½"
• Stomach: 41"
• Waist: 37"
• Hips: 40½"
• Thigh: 20 - 24¾"
• Weight: 209.8#

A lot of eights came up in the actual measurements, so those were rounded one way or another based on whether they were through a moderately thick shirt or not. I know, I missed a month of measurements and a week of weigh-ins, so comparisons have to go vs. August and 10/5.

213.4, and Libra may have decided that I will only approach my goal asymptotically. Since I only gave it an intermediate goal, that's not good.