2006-01-27
How to Develop a Million Dollar Personality
Author: J. V. Cerney
I picked this book up from the free display outside the local used book store one night a couple years ago. I actually had a friend in mind at the time, to whom I was going to send it, but I decided to keep it myself. If you know me you know my personality is a couple cents short of a nickel, so I figured I would take advantage of the opportunity. However I didn't get past the first chapter until this week, when I made a determined effort to get through all 223 pages and learn how to develop my million dollar personality.
It is quite clear that the author is very interested in helping you achieve your million dollar personality. He's downright excited, in fact! The exclamation points bring his personality -- sorry, his million dollar personality -- right across the page! (I have to stop and italicize the mention of a million dollar personality. It must be critical. The phrase is never used unitalicized in the book, except in a couple charts, where capitals are substituted.) The enthusiasm is infectious. You immediately want to learn how a person can be so relentlessly enthusiastic, and you're in luck! The second chapter is all about enthusiasm. One of the headings inside is "Turn It On, Turn It Off, Keep Enthusiasm Under Control", but the topic of turning it off never seems to come up. Enthusiasm is a vital part of your million dollar personality and it's safer just to leave it on.
To help you get a head start on your own million dollar personality, you lucky people, I'll excerpt some scattered tips from this self-help wonder:
Looking at the last one, I appear to work for people that have read this book. I can save you even more time by a summary I seem to remember Dogbert giving of how to speak in management:
The book seems like it might actually be a complete guide to developing my million dollar personality. The only problem is it doesn't quite fully explain why I would want such a thing. Nonetheless, I will try selected portions of the advice. If I don't have a million dollar personality when I'm done, I'll blame inflation. This book was published in 1964 and may only buy a $164,000 personality today. (CPI Inflation Calculator) I may ask for my money back.
I picked this book up from the free display outside the local used book store one night a couple years ago. I actually had a friend in mind at the time, to whom I was going to send it, but I decided to keep it myself. If you know me you know my personality is a couple cents short of a nickel, so I figured I would take advantage of the opportunity. However I didn't get past the first chapter until this week, when I made a determined effort to get through all 223 pages and learn how to develop my million dollar personality.
It is quite clear that the author is very interested in helping you achieve your million dollar personality. He's downright excited, in fact! The exclamation points bring his personality -- sorry, his million dollar personality -- right across the page! (I have to stop and italicize the mention of a million dollar personality. It must be critical. The phrase is never used unitalicized in the book, except in a couple charts, where capitals are substituted.) The enthusiasm is infectious. You immediately want to learn how a person can be so relentlessly enthusiastic, and you're in luck! The second chapter is all about enthusiasm. One of the headings inside is "Turn It On, Turn It Off, Keep Enthusiasm Under Control", but the topic of turning it off never seems to come up. Enthusiasm is a vital part of your million dollar personality and it's safer just to leave it on.
To help you get a head start on your own million dollar personality, you lucky people, I'll excerpt some scattered tips from this self-help wonder:
- What Should Be Remembered About Applying Enthusiasm?
- Present only the happy side to everything.
- Never be the purveyor of bad news. Detail this to someone else.
- Present only the happy side to everything.
- [S]idestep all controversial issues.
- [T]here is no place for anger in your life.
- 40 Personal Mannerisms to Avoid
- Blinking.
- Staring.
- Blinking.
- Take ten minutes to talk to yourself. After plenty of such practice you will find yourself talking to one of the best conversationalists you know.
- Tighten your buttocks as if you were holding a golden nugget between them.
- When an employee comes to you with the tale of being overworked he is actually not concerned about being overworked. He is concerned with getting recognition for the problem he is having or the job he is doing.
Looking at the last one, I appear to work for people that have read this book. I can save you even more time by a summary I seem to remember Dogbert giving of how to speak in management:
- LOUD.
- SMILEY!
The book seems like it might actually be a complete guide to developing my million dollar personality. The only problem is it doesn't quite fully explain why I would want such a thing. Nonetheless, I will try selected portions of the advice. If I don't have a million dollar personality when I'm done, I'll blame inflation. This book was published in 1964 and may only buy a $164,000 personality today. (CPI Inflation Calculator) I may ask for my money back.
