I grew up here. This is a contradiction:

"Expect about a week of sizzling temperatures, mostly in the lower to mid-90s, according to the National Weather Service."

Sizzling, Sun-Times? It's just finally getting seasonal. I'm not saying I enjoy it, but it's not that bad. It has to be at least 97 to sizzle, and that's not forecast:

Of course, I could live here:

How did she get me to start looking at those forecasts?